Visibility

This summer I participated in Susannah Conway's Summer School as part of  The Inside Story. 

The  focus was VISIBILITY!

This is me -- a maker of pretty, crafty, decorative things.

I am also a wife, a mom, an artist, a gardener, a reader, a traveler, and a loyal friend.

I've always wanted to make art, to sell it, to teach it --

except I haven't done enough making, selling, or teaching of late,
 and I have been quite invisible for a couple years

.

So how to become visible, allowing my work, allowing me to be more visible?

I changed the URL for my blog to use my name.

I already have two posts!
I imported all the old blog posts here,
and I directed people who go to the old blog here

I've made a friend of mine an accountability coach.  

I purchased a new computer with enough memory to save photos.

I'm looking at all the things that stop me.

And focusing on all the things that keep me going!

my kids keep me going

Going Public

When I first started my blog I wanted to be known, sort of, and still be kinda anonymous  Marilee is just not an anonymous name, and I was hesitant to use my whole name.  And then I've always had a bit of conflict over my married name vs birth name.  However, lately, I've wanted to be more visible in the arts and crafts world.

So using my name, I changed my URL.  And instead of transporting the whole other blog with all it's time gaps and such, I decided to start fresh.

I was going public in this very small little way.  I got to thinking.  What if your going public is not some small thing?  What if it's a big secret or something difficult? How hard is it to go public?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, specially with women coming forward with their #MeToo stories.  And as I read these brave women's stories, I know it could have been me.

That's me on the right, my future husband on the left.

I went to college in the late '60s, early 70's and I thought of myself as a fairly typical college student.  There were 5 colleges right next to each other in that charming town.  Mine was a hippie womens school.  The other womens college served tea every afternoon outside their library; a library with a fireplace that actually worked!  There was a school with a great theatre dept and lots of cute guys.  I hung out with the theatre crowd.

I had adventures.  

I hitchhiked halfway across the country with two women friends.  When we got home I hitchhiked around Southern California alone.  I was really and truly protected.  I was not abused or threatened or hurt.  One driver did suggest I looked tired and wouldn't I like to go to a motel and get some rest.  At the next red light I quickly got out of his truck and walked the opposite way he was driving.

I've been thinking about this somewhat wild college past of mine.  I did some things that could have turned out quite badly.  Friends and strangers, women and men were often protective, making sure I got home in one piece or had a safe place to sleep.  I am very grateful for all this protection.   But before college I had more than one #MeToo experience. 

I recognize how difficult it can be to talk about.  How coming forward is not always treated kindly; sometimes it's almost worse than what happened.  I was fortunate.  I always thought "something" happened when I was little.  I had some disturbing dreams in high school, and in college, I finally got the nerve to talk to my mom about them.  Did she know if I could have been molested?  She didn't know. I can't remember.  But she didn't say I was making things up.  She told me about the year I was 4 and suddenly lost a lot of weight (and I wasn't sick).  She told me about the day care center I stopped wanting to attend. She took me seriously.  It's what we have to do with any woman or man who is coming forward with their stories.

Visibility

This is me -- a maker of pretty, crafty, decorative things.

I am also a wife, a mom, an artist, a gardener, a reader, a traveler, and a loyal friend.

This week is Summer School for Susannah Conway's ecourse, The Inside Story. 

The  focus is VISIBILITY! 

I took the course a few years ago and each summer she inspires us, nudges us to look at an aspect of 

"Running a Heart-Centered Business."  My business is making art and selling it and teaching it --

except I haven't done enough making, selling, or teaching and have been quite invisible for a couple years

.

When the kids were little I decorated wreaths and anything else I could find with beautiful dried & silk flowers.

It was fun, creative and it let me stay at home with them and still make money.  

Next to inspire me was the pretty pink part of the blogosphere.

Here I found mixed media collage, art workshops, ways to connect with other creative women,
and lots of ways you could use vintage pretties.

The two outside projects were made while on art workshops in France.

The shoe is my wedding shoe.  It no longer fits so I painted it and decorated it with bling.

I made the tag for a friend going on an adventure.

Next I'd like to show what I am doing now, but I haven't moved those photos from my camera to the computer and there isn't enough time to do it and still get to my yoga class.
So, in the past, at this point that I would stop, leave this post as a draft and turn off my computer. 

I'd never come back to the post and it and I would remain invisible.

As you can see, I didn't leave this post as a draft.  I am letting myself be visible even if it's not "perfect."  After all, I can post again later today or tomorrow or another day this week!

Monday Musings

Since the beginning of January, I have been attending a Monday morning yoga class.  This yoga class is a surprise every time.  Today was no different.

The teacher asked us to find an intention, something that spoke to us now.  My mind was a blank, so I just continued with the poses and figured something would come to me.

In the middle of Proud Warrior, which takes a lot of concentration for me to get the arms, legs, stomach, head & neck right, it came to me that my life is about FRIENDSHIP.  Rather apropos.  For me, proud warrior is a very feminine pose.  And most of my friends are women.

Last January spending 4 months in California was really mostly about being near my friends.  Yes, the weather was milder than New England.  Yes, it was fun to see if I could find a place to live where I didn't need a car.  And yes, I got to see my family (and go to Disneyland) more than when I am home.  But mostly it was about being with friends and feeling valued by them.

And during yoga class I was reminded that I am not alone.  Sometimes my life here in New England feels a little lonely.  And it's not like I don't love to spend time by myself.  It's just hardly anyone calls me up to do lunch, and that's always been a hallmark of friendship for me.  Still I have an amazing group of women & men I have known a long time -- one since we were 5 years old, many from junior high & high school and a few from my  just after-college years in Boston.  And if they can't call me up to do lunch, then maybe it's time for me to reach out to them on a more regular basis.  Hence the beginnings of "Monday Musings."  A way to reach out.  And given the way my thoughts expand when I do yoga, I'm sure lots of things will occur to me to muse about.

Feel free to leave a comment.  I do love making new friends!

Change-Over Day

On the Cape, it's Saturdays when one group of vacationers start their holiday and another group ends theirs.  The bridges are jammed, both ways, and if you don't need to be anywhere, you're smart to stay off the road til things calm down.

At summer camp it was also Saturday, when one set of campers left and another set arrived.  Those who had never driven the camp road before could be a little put out by the signs, "Camp Around The Corner,"  and a mile later the sign, "We Didn't Say Which Corner!"  Those who felt camp was their other home were thrilled by the humor!

This day was my changing from Toulouse by myself to Chateau Dumas with a group of 12 women, 1 husband, Anna the artist, Jane the assistant, Lizzie, the owner, the chateau staff and me.

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 I took the train to Caussade and had a very easy time of it getting my luggage on & off the train and across the tracks.  I cheated and asked a man with what I assumed was a train uniform if he would mind hefting my bag on the train.  (It was over 50 lbs).  If he didn't work for the train, he was a very kind man!  At Caussade one arrives from Toulouse on the 'wrong' side of the tracks and you have to take your luggage down a flight of steps and then back up another.  By the time I moved my bags to the stairs, no one was around,  I really hate looking helpless, so no one had to see me drag the bag down stairs and then move this monstrosity up one step at a time!  I had dreaded this part of the trip...nice to discover it was an unfounded worry.

At the Chateau I was greeted by fen-fen and he is much less fierce than the one picture shows.

By sunset all the participants had arrived.  What a lovely group of women (& husband).  This looks to be a wonderful week!

Getting Lost in Toulouse

Friday wasn't an early day for me.  I even considered just staying in bed.  But really, that seemed entirely too self-indulgent and boorish!  So I ventured out, unfortunately, after all the local eateries were no longer serving lunch.  I have been known to skip a meal, so I figured I would survive.  I made my way back to Place St-Georges, where the Walking Tour started, and wandered around.

Place St-Georges

Cathedrale Sainte-Etienne 

The seat of the Archbishop of Toulouse

and a French National Monument.

For all those purposes and importance, this building was very welcoming and open.

During World War II, Jules-Gerard Saliege, the Archbishop of Toulouse was outspoken in his condemnation of German and Vichy treatment of Jews.  He read out a letter which actively admonished the Catholic church to protect their Jewish neighbors.  He was responsible for saving many lives and was made a Cardinal after the war.  Outside the church, in a little park there is a bust of him and the words of his letter on a plaque.

Inside the church are these beautiful images.
My apologies that some of them are a bit out of focus.

Choir  Stalls

Rose Window at rear of the church

After the Cathedral it was time for tea at this amazing place!
I'm afraid I had eaten my raspberry & pistachio tart before I thought to take a photo.
It looked as good as it tasted! 

One of the lovely things about getting lost in Toulouse are the unexpected shops or buildings or even people I encounter!

Government Building

Royal Gardens

It's a stationary and art supply store!

Yes, I know, I hang out in these kind of shops at home, but here all supplies, even the index cards, are in French.
How cool is that?

 I wonder if they were in Spanish ( a language I have a passing familiarity with) would it seem so exotic?

As often happens for me, I found myself at Place Wilson.
I ended my day treating myself to a film in English before returning to my hotel room.

Toulouse Walking Tours

I discovered Penny Dickinson's tours online -- click on her name to learn more.  Two years ago I took the "Key Sights" tour.  We walked 3 kilometers in two hours and saw a large part of Toulouse.  This year I contacted Penny to see if there might be a tour while I was in the city.  As it turns out, she offered the "Beyond The Postcard" tour.  It is also two hours, but covers only 2 km, as there is a lot going on in this old part of the city.  Much history to learn and wonderful architecture.  I am so delighted I was able to take this tour and visit with Penny again.

This shop sells ballet things.

It's not really part of the tour, but the window display is so clever!  They sent out a request for women to send in their pointe shoes.  Each pair of shoes notes the name and age of the person who wore these ballet shoes.  The ballerinas range in age from 14 to 88 years old!

And now the amazing architecture:

Home to a wealthy resident of the 16th Century

The brick wall around the inner courtyard is curved, not an easy task for bricklayers!

I think somewhere in that frieze there are lambs, rams, sheep!

One of only a few half-timbered structures left in Toulouse.

They were banned centuries ago because they burned so easily and took the neighbor's homes with them!

 

Cathedral St-Etienne.

On the walking tour we only saw the outside, but I returned the next day and the inside is beautiful.

I have friends who are able to post everyday while on trips.  I have no idea how they do it.  This trip is so full of adventures that I can barely catch my breath, let along blog.  Still I am committed to sharing the trip, so next post continues my rambles in Toulouse.

Thanks for coming along!